


The mind of Keith Kogane

by TresTails12



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-01-27 12:37:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12582068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TresTails12/pseuds/TresTails12
Summary: Keith lies basicallyAfter the end of season 2, not so cannon season three, bigger timeline





	1. Bittersweet Lie

**Author's Note:**

> Also, my tumblr https://lovethatmakingcoffee.tumblr.com

Keith was lost, he was in a dark place yet again and it was swallowing him. He was drowning in lose and he couldn’t find a way to keep himself afloat. After Shiro had disappeared everything seemed to have fallen apart. There wasn’t a celebration for anyone after Zarkon’s defeat as he desperately searched everywhere for Shiro. But there was no trace, he was just gone, and there wasn’t anything Keith could do about it. 

What’s worst now was that Voltron had no leader, no head. And the memory of what Shiro said kept resurfacing in Keith’s mind again and again, and worry and grief twisted his stomach to pieces. It’s like Shiro knew he would disappear and that thought frustrated Keith even more. He felt the apprehension of Shiro’s words and his fate, he felt overwhelmed and nauseous at the thought of mentioning this to his team. Keith had no idea what to do or say to them anyways. He wasn’t a leader, he didn’t want to be, he never agreed to this! It was tearing him apart and he knew how the others looked at him with eyes filled with worry and concern. But if he told them what Shiro had told him then their eyes would probably filled with doubt and suspicion. Why would Shiro pick him anyways? Sure, he’s gotten better at combat and he knows he’s good at piloting, but that’s it. He can’t lead the team when he feels too awkward and weird to be around them without Shiro as a pillar.

So he stayed silent, he didn’t say a thing because he didn’t know how to say it. Just thinking of how their team would react was enough to make him want to jump in Red and fly away forever. Just think, Allura and Coran are just barely getting over the fact that he’s Galra, if he spills it he’ll have broken any reform and acceptance for him that they had and go back to square one. To think that the leader of Voltron would be part Galra like the previous leader, like Zarkon, another reason why Keith couldn’t dare mention a word. Pidge and Hunk might be okay with him, but they still might interrogate him for what Shiro actually said. But then there’s Lance, Lance who’ll be against it from the very start. Keith could tell that Lance already didn’t like that Shiro and him were closer and Shiro put more faith in him in some missions than others, but honestly, Lance would go berserk.

If Lance knew he would shoot down everything Keith said, they’d get into more fights, and it would do no one any good. So Keith became hesitant, because he didn’t want to have everyone’s eyes on him, he didn’t want them to be… angry. Keith would stay quiet about this until they were out of options.

-

Keith walked down the darkly lit hallways at what the clock said to be midnight. He couldn’t sleep, how could he? It’s only been a week since they lost Shiro and Keith was still very unsure about everything. So to keep his mind out of trouble he made himself get lost in the castle. Everyone was asleep so it was a better chance to be alone. He knew how the others would try to approach him, comfort him maybe, but he brushed them off as he knew he couldn’t accept their soothing words, not yet at least.

Even Lance seemed to want to talk to him, just to get him to talk, to take him out of the whirlwind his mind has been. He didn’t force him into arguments or tried to goad him, and even if he did Keith didn’t think he had the spirit to participate. 

It was cold in the hallways as he quietly paced down them without directions. He had no idea where he was going, but eventually his feet took him to a room that had a view to the stars. They hadn’t been close to any planets; it’s just been stars lately. As he came in he sat down on the sofa in the room and watched the ship pass the stars. He remembered when he was young that he used to count the constellations, but now he can’t recognize any of them.

He sighed as he sunk down; head slumped and arms and body relaxed. He knew his body was tired, but he didn’t want to go to sleep, not when everything felt so incomplete. Keith glanced back at the stars again and saw their brilliance. In his life he’ll never see them change, they’ll always be specks of light in space, too far away to reach. He tightened his hand but then released it as the tensioned dripped out of it. His eyes felt warm and there was pressure building up from behind them. He felt them become wet on his lashes as one of the drops dropped across his cheek.

Suddenly a sound came from behind him; it was the door sliding open and at the sound Keith snapped his head to the sound to see someone standing there. It was Lance. No it was Lance.

They stared at each other for a moment in surprise when Lance said in a voice laced with concern “Dude, are-are you crying?”

That made Keith snap back to reality when he realized there were tears dripping down from his eyes. He tried to quickly rub them away, but they kept flowing out. He spoke in a broken and trembling voice “No-I’m not-I just * sniff *- I-“

“Whoa, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Lance assured as he stepped forward with a soft face and hands stretched out in a passive gesture “I just saw you walking the halls and well I got curious where you were going. But dude.” 

Lance climbed over the sofa to sit by Keith’s side as his hands hesitated to reach him. Keith scooted away as tears poured out of his eyes as if he was afraid of the touch “I was just-taking a walk- I um- just-“

“It’s okay Keith,” Lance said with a smoothness in his voice “You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to.”

“Uh I-thanks…” Keith mumbled as his face was now flushing from embarrassment of Lance finding him like this. He rubbed his eyes with the palm of his glove and wondered how much of a mess he looked like right now. He then asked as he sniffed “What are you… doing up?”

“Um, midnight snack,” Lance gleamed as he shown his big white-toothed smile. In it’s own right, it softened Keith’s heart, if not just for a moment.

They sat in silence for a moment longer while Keith pushed away his tears and Lance peered at him with a comforting smile. After some time Keith finally slowly spoke, as if his mind was out of focus “Is he really gone?”

“You mean Shiro?” Lance asked even though Keith couldn’t see in his eyes that he knew what Keith had meant.

“Yeah…”

“I don’t know,” Lance leaned back in his seat “None of us know, but we’ll never stop looking for him.”

Keith didn’t look at Lance but he did nod “Okay…”

“Hey Keith,” Lance said, “It’s okay to talk about this once and awhile you know. We can talk and you know everyone misses you.”

Keith looked up to Lance with a sad part in his lips as his eyes still gleamed wet with tears, but he didn’t think he’d hear that from Lance of all people “Maybe, in a little while.”

“Alright then,” Lance sighed as he glanced his eyes down, he looked tired too with ruffled hair and sunken eyes. Keith wondered where that midnight snack went.

“This is going to be hard,” Keith said as he let himself lay on the sofa.

“I know,” Lance responded “How are we even suppose to form Voltron now, without a head, who’s suppose to be the leader.”

Keith didn’t answer as he lay there; he instead let himself think. About how sweet Lance is being right now, even if he isn’t doing much he’s still by Keith’s side listening to him. He’s such a great listener even if sometimes he blabs a lot, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t listen to what people have to say. Keith could picture him as the big brother type; he’s always looked after Pidge and is so close to Hunk. He’s even talking sweetly to someone as closed off as Keith. Keith felt a tug at his lips at that thought. Lance was so openly friendly with literally everyone that even at times Keith looked to him for… guidance?

Keith pulled himself up in thought, but Lance seemed to not have realized as he filled the air with empty words. Lance is pretty open, and he’s basically gained everyone’s respect, he’s great at piloting, actually has some pretty strategic plans sometimes, has great aim, and he’s a smooth talker, he’d be different than Shiro, but maybe just maybe…

Keith then snapped his attention back to what Lance was actually saying and he caught wind of the conversation that leaned to “It’s too bad Shiro never said anything, in case something did happen to him.”

“He did,” Keith finally said something that snapped Lance’s attention to him with wide eyes.

“What?!” Lance basically shouted in surprise “He did?! Keith why haven’t you said anything until now?!”

“Uhh…” Keith’s brain was running through excuses until one finally miraculously landed “Maybe I didn’t want you to get a big head.”

“Huh?” Lance blinked in confusion “What does that mean?”

Keith gulped, and he almost froze but after some consideration he lied “Shiro said he wanted you to be the next Black Paladin.”

There was a moment where everything was still as Lance had no reaction, it seemed it was taking awhile for the words to sink into his mind, but when it did he laughed. And I mean, he laughed hard. He threw his head back as his laughter burst through the silence in the room. He hollered and cackled as he fell back onto the couch wheezing.

“Wha-Why are you laughing so much?” Keith asked, incredibly confused at such a reaction. He expected Lance to react more like ‘Huh me? Shiro said me?!’ or ‘Hah! Of course he’d pick me! Who else could it be?’ But no Lance was laughing hysterically.

“Because-“ Lance wiped away a tear “That’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said.”

Was it that unbelievable? “But he said you should do it!” Keith almost shrieked, “He said you were the best choice.”

“Uh-huh, doubt it,” Lance snickered “Shiro would never pick me, he hardly picks me for anything, let alone being the head of Voltron.”

“But it’s the truth!” Keith barked somewhat irritated.

Lance pulled back at that, there was still confusion written on his face as he said, “Did he tell you… maybe why he picked me?”

Keith wondered what Shiro would say then spouted out all on his own “H-he said ‘You may be a little immature and cocky, but you are one of our best pilots and you know the team. You are good with everyone and everyone likes you. You know how to lightened the mood when things get dark and you have good strategic plans time and time again. You know what teamwork is, you’re an amazing shot, and you listen, you listen to what everyone has to say. You’re- “

“Keith?” Keith snapped up to looked at Lance now and the expression Lance had on was something he hadn’t ever seen on him before. He was written with disbelief, but he also was awestruck. His mouth was agape as he said, “Did Shiro actually say all that about me?”

Keith froze for a moment as almost wanting to say ‘No, I think all of that about you and I want you lead Voltron because I don’t think I can.’ But instead he lied “Yeah, I’ve never known Shiro for a liar.” But Keith definitely was one 

Lance sat there with amazement and a swell of pride growing inside of him, he held his chest as he looked to Keith with a wide teary smile “Oh my god, I never knew he thought that way. I thought he just saw me as the funny guy. I mean, I’m hardly a member of the team in the first place.”

Keith sat there, shocked at what Lance was saying and now he was sitting there in disbelief, but this time he got angry “Who-Who told you that?!”

“No one I just thought-“

“Lance, you are an important member of the team,” Keith stated “If you were the one to disappear, like god forbid, but if it was you the team would never get on it’s feet again. Shiro may be the leader, but you’re like the glue that sticks us together.”

“But-“

“You were the one that made it so this whole adventure could start in the first place,” Keith said “Since the Blue Lion picked you. If you weren’t there Allura and Coran could have never woken up, the Galra would have probably entered Earth’s atmosphere looking for Shiro, Pidge would never get any leads for her dad and brother, and I…” There was a pause until Keith continued “I would have never gotten any answers on who I am, what I am, and this team…” He sunk his head down to make sure it was adverting Lance’s eyes “Is one of the closest things I’ve ever had to a real family in my life.”

There was another long sufferable pause, until Keith felt hands on the sides of his face as they lifted them to look at Lance’s eyes. Lance looked at him for a moment like he didn’t know what to say, but when he finally did he said “Keith I- no ones ever said that to me before.”

Keith flushed, as he pulled away and said, “Yeah, well the way you were thinking, someone had to.”

Then Lance laughed, but it was short and endearing this time “Jesus, what are you Keith Kogane?”

“Galra I think,” Keith answered a bit confused, but then Lance laughed again.

“That’s not what I meant but okay!” he grinned, “So what should we do?”

“I suppose tell the others,” Keith answered.

“Okay, but in the morning,” Lance was still smiling, lovely and bold.

“Alright, in the morning.”


	2. Will everything be alright?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, is that angst?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so we're clear, this fanfiction is mainly about Keith, I'll have one with Lance's pos, but I needed to make one for my little red boy who almost killed himself last season. So this story will mainly focus on Keith and his emotions.
> 
> This chapter may be a little shorter too.

“So this is everything that Shiro said?” Allura asked, eyebrow rose.

“Yes Princess, “ Keith stated, “I swore he told me Lance was suppose to be the next Black Paladin.”

Allura glanced back at him then Lance, then back at Keith in which she said “I’m surprised Shiro had such a perspective.”

Lance adverted his eyes at such a comment but Keith continued to push this to make it possible “It was Shiro’s last wish. Shouldn’t we honor it?”

Allura’s mouth parted but then she said, “Keith, you seemed to know Shiro better than any of us, Shiro would have told you wouldn’t he.”

“Shiro and I have known each other for a very long time, even before the Garrison,” Keith stated. 

“But why say this now, why haven’t you said this sooner?” Allura asked.

“Well…” Keith adverted his eyes for a moment to think up another believable lie but then said, “I’m sorry Princess, I’ve been keeping that information hidden. I was just… mourning.”

Allura bit her lip as a hint of sorrow crossed her eyes, but then she dipped her head down, her eyes staring into the floor “I understand. I’m at least glad you are finally talking to all of us Keith. With this we can move forward as Voltron.”

She turned away from them and went to talk to Coran when Pidge and Hunk decided to come along. Pidge spoke first “So… Black Paladin Lance huh?”

“Uh yeah,” Keith nodded, he wondered if these two would believe his lies.

“Interesting, I didn’t think Shiro thought that way about any of us,” Pidge muttered.

“But it’s pretty cool that he saw you that way Lance, leader role and all,” Hunk pleasantly smiled.

“I know, isn’t it cool?!” Lance said excitedly “I never thought he’d notice any of that stuff, heck, I never noticed it myself! It’s just really awesome to be thought of so highly of me.”

“Yeah, but watch yourself Lance,” Pidge smirked “If I was just a little older and taller, I’d totally be the true Black Paladin.”

“Oh god,” Hunk laughed “Black Paladin Pidge, that would be terrifying.”

“I’d rule you all with a solid fist,” Pidge grinned “And my first rule of business would be I’d have to stand on Hunk’s shoulder’s to outrank everyone.”

“Don’t let her do it Hunk!” Lance joked, “She’ll be more of a tyrant than Zarkon.”

“I don’t know, what do I get for being the tyrant’s horse?” Hunk teased.

“You’d get a life time supply of deserts for free,” Pidge bargained.

“Deal!” Hunk agreed quickly as he bent over to let Pidge climb over him.

“No, she’ll be too powerful!” Lance laughed as they all pushed around.

Keith watched them from afar and even though he wasn’t really part of the playful conversation it was fun. He’s glad that even though it was a lie, everything was turning out for the best. They were smiling; he made them smile, which in turn was making him feel better than he had all week. This was for the best; in fact it was far better. Everyone agreed that it was all right, Lance was gaining confidence and Keith was feeling better by the minute. 

“What would you’re first order of business be if you were the Black Paladin?” Pidge asked Hunk.

“Hm, I’d first order us all to free every planet that’s been under Zarkon’s rule, then I think I’d want us to look for Shiro, then a quick vakay-“

“Hunk! Ixnay!” Pidge whispered loudly.

“Oh right,” Hunk covered his mouth quickly as Pidge’s legs dangled from his shoulders.

Keith caught wind of went they meant and said “It’s fine you guys, don’t worry about me.”

“You sure?” Hunk asked “You seemed so down dude.”

“I’m okay, really,” Keith smiled reassuring “Everything is okay.”

“Keith,” Lance said smoothly “Thanks for… you know, telling.”

“Oh, of course!” Keith answered, but then had a sly smile spread across his lips “Black Paladin Lance.” 

Lance’s smile grew again as his lip trembled, and he felt flush, but suddenly he recollected himself seriously and said, “I swear you guys, I’m going to try my hardest at being the new leader. I won’t disappoint.”

“I know you won’t buddy,” Hunk smiled.

“And besides, if you do make mistakes we’re a team, we’ll figure it out,” Pidge added.

At that Lance’s smiled grew even more, and Keith felt his heart squeeze. This was alright; this was for the best.

-

Lance was an exceptional leader, like Keith expected. He was able to gain the Black Lion’s trust rather quickly even though he had a few complaints about missing Blue. But in the mean time Allura would be handling the Blue Lion, so everything was said and done. As he lead them he scraped his flimsy attitude and became more serious, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a quick quib up his sleeve time and time again, it just meant that he was trying really hard and Keith was admiring him for that. Everything was alright, everything was for the best.

-

In the Cona Quadrant they flew to rescue another nation that had been under Zarkon’s rule, since he fell the Galra have been running around without a leader and Voltron had been taking them out one by one. This would be the fifth planet that they’d be freeing from the Galra and it’s all due to Lance’s tactics with some assistance from the Blade of Mamora. 

They were split for a moment in their lions and Lance was taking the lead as he blasted through the Galra lines. In Keith’s eyes he seemed invincible. Pidge and Hunk were taking down a couple Galra cruisers, and Allura was picking off the fighter pilots with Keith, but Lance was the one leading them to victory.

“On your left Allura, those creeps have about ten coming at you,” Lance called over the microphones.

“On it, Lance make sure you take down the center of their fleet,” Allura stated.

“Alright, I’ll need Hunk to give me some defensive cover, you hear me buddy?!” Lance called.

“Right behind you Lance!” Hunk said as he soared over Lance.

“Keith I need you to make me a clear path,” Lance said, “I’m clearing these guys out with one shot.”

“Be careful,” Keith answered as he pushed through the Galra’s heavy defenses. Explosions and blasts were happening all over the place as Lance maneuvered through with Hunk shielding him and Keith clearing his way. They were almost through and when Lance reached his target he pulled the black bayard into the lion’s system and activated the teleportation jump. He sliced right through their defenses with ease and the team cheered.

“Way to go Lance!” Pidge called.

“Incredible work,” Allura called over the comms “Everyone let’s clear the rest of this mess.”

“Right!” everyone called as they flew to take down the rest of the fighters. But Keith slowed down as he saw that the Black Lion wasn’t moving.

“Lance, did you hear Allura, we got to move it,” Keith said over the comms “Lance?”

Suddenly a loud blast shot from the Black Lion and smashed against everything in a twenty-mile radius. The lions were being thrown back by the blast as they were flung into space; even the castle was pushed back to a great length before the blast ended. Their lions were in the dark as all systems were down, everyone almost panicked, but then the power quickly returned to the servers. After that, attention than fell on the Black Lion.

“Lance respond! Lance!” Keith called over the comms, his neck was getting sweaty, his eyes were becoming frantic, and his mouth was beginning to dry up. It couldn’t be. No, not again. Not again. We can’t loose Lance too. No, no, no. Keith quickly kicked his lion into gear and soared as fast as he could to Lance as he could see the lion just floating there, motionless “Lance! Lance!” 

The others began following him as they quickly cleared out the rest of the sentries and helped carry the Black Lion back to the castle. Once inside Keith began yet again running into the Black Lion’s hangar and was the first to reach the cockpit inside where Lance should be. As he did his eyes started to get blurry again as he called for Lance over and over again. But as he reached the cockpit, he froze, to see it absolutely empty. 

Keith froze for a moment as the others came behind him, but once they did he marched over to the seat to look inside and it still empty. The Black Lion was yet again empty. Once he saw this Keith broke down, his legs gave way as he let himself cry. It happened again, again. And to Lance of all people. Why did this keep happening? Why do people he cares about so much keep disappearing?

Keith was shaking on the floor with tears flooding his eyes, everything hurt, everything was cold, and he couldn’t tell up from down. He could hear choked sobs from behind him, but he was so emotionally weak he couldn’t stand up anymore. He couldn’t breath and he knew; it was his fault. He lied and told Lance he should fly the Black Lion. That he should do it instead of Keith. It should have been him, it should have been me, Keith kept thinking to himself. He should have been the one to disappear, not Lance, and now he was gone and there was nothing Keith could do. He was alone.

There was a small flash, above his head that Keith almost didn’t notice if not for the small sound that came from it. He glanced up quickly with tears staining his face to see Lance standing there, his eyes closed and legs wobbly like he might fall. When he opened his eyes he balanced himself to look out at everyone in the cockpit.

He didn’t know what to say at first but what eventually came out of his mouth was “Uhh, hey guys.”

Hunk and Pidge came from behind Keith and tackled Lance against the dashboard with tears flowing down their cheeks. Allura and Coran stood in the back to look in bewilderment and amazement at the sudden change of events as they were too choked up to move. When Pidge and Hunk finally let him go he saw Keith sitting on the floor with amazement filling his tear soaked face. Lance seemed to have a surprised look on his face as he squawked when he saw what he perceived was his rival crying on the floor. He steadily and slowly approached Keith as he sunk down to him and before he could say anything Keith was already shouting.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry Lance! I didn’t mean it to become like this! I’m sorry!” Keith continued to cry, he couldn’t stop the tears as he was overwhelmed with guilt and self hatred “You were gone… you were gone like Shiro… I thought you’d be-I thought we lost you!” More tears were flowing out; they didn’t stop as Keith tried to rub them away. He hadn’t remembered the last time he cried this much as he sobbed out every word.

Lance was hesitant at first but then placed a warm hand on Keith cheek, and rubbed it softly. He gave a kind smile as he said “Keith’s it’s okay. I’m okay-I…” he trailed off for a moment, and his face twisted like he thought of something bad, but then it returned to his sweet words “I didn’t go away, I’m here.”

Keith sunk his head in Lance’s shoulder crying softly with a sad whimper in his voice “I thought you were gone… I thought it was my fault… I’m so sorry…”

“Hey there space cowboy, it’s okay,” Lance said soothingly, “I’m here. I’m here.”


	3. In the astral plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance explains where he's been

Once they had all left the Black Lion’s cockpit and once everyone had finally calmed down Allura started to ask questions “Lance, where did you go? What was that light? What do you last remember of the battle?”

“Honestly Princess,” Lance sighed “I remember slicing that last ship and suddenly I was out of my lion in this sort of astral plane. It was a place where it looked like it was just stars but I could walk on it. It was so weird; like everywhere was just stars as far as the eyes could see.”

Keith stared intently as Lance told his story, but worry still clouded his mind. He hoped Lance wasn’t injured from the escapade and he hoped that everything would be all right.

“But then I saw the Black Lion. I ran to her but I saw someone lying in front of her,” he paused for a moment but finally said, “It was Shiro.” There were gasps amongst the Paladins as Lance let it sink in. Keith almost lost it again. Shiro was alive? He was in a place where the Black Lion was but wasn’t? He was about to say something when Pidge beat him to it.

“Did you talk to him, was he okay?” Pidge asked quickly.

“He was alive…” Lance said with a frown “But he was like in a weird daze, like he saw me, but he really didn’t see me. Like seeing me wasn’t what he was supposed to be doing.”

“Did you speak with him?” Keith asked with determination in his voice “Did he say anything to you?”

“He did…” Lance said as he adverted his eyes from Keith, and for some reason a wave of apprehension flew over Keith. Something wasn’t right.

“Well what did he say Lance my boy?” Coran asked as he twirled his moustache.

“Right he… he told me that he was alive, but he was healing,” Lance said “That the last attack almost killed him.”

-

“But if that’s the case then you shouldn’t have to be here,” Lance said as he leaned over Shiro.

“No healing pod can heal this pain,” Shiro sighed as his eyes lazily looked out onto the astral plane “I can’t return just yet, the attack was too much for me, the Black Lion was barely able to hold out. But they took me here in order to rest and heal.”

“But when will you come out?” Lance asked, worry wringing his voice.

“I don’t know, neither of us do,” Shiro answered “And I’m too weak to do anything, but… how is everyone…?”

Lance thought for a moment then said, “Everyone is doing okay Shiro, I’m making sure of that. Allura, Coran, they’re discovering new colonies that need to be freed from the Galra. Allura is now the Blue Paladin and Blue loves her, which is super cute; my two favorite girls loving each other. Hunk and Pidge are holding out and getting better at fighting by the day, and Keith he was so lonely without you Shiro. So quiet and distant from all of us, he missed you a lot, but he’s been getting better.”

“And what about you?” Shiro asked calmly.

That’s when Lance gleamed “Well I know what you told Keith about me and I’ve been wanting say was thank you Shiro for noticing that stuff about me. For realizing the skills in me that even I didn’t know about, and having me pilot the Black Lion. That was really cool of you, thank you.”

There was a silence for a moment but then Shiro said “No,” he looked confused, but he was still in that trance like state “I… I wanted Keith to…to pilot the Black Lion.”

Lance’s face fell and his eyes widened “What…? That’s not what Keith said. He said you wanted me to be the next Black Paladin.”

“No, I wanted Keith, he would be a perfect leader,” something snapped in Lance’s heart as Shiro continued “That’s what I asked him to do, so why are… are you here?” Lance could only stare at Shiro, he couldn’t answer “Keith was suppose to be the Black Paladin, I don’t understand he has to be here… I have to talk to him. I need to tell him something…”

But by those words Shiro suddenly started to sink into the astral planes, like he was sinking into muddy tar. This surprised Lance a lot as he tried to drag Shiro back to the surface.

“I’m so tired…” Shiro sighed as he sunk down “I need to tell him… he needs to know…. I…”

“Shiro! Shiro, get up, no!” Lance gasped as he tried with all his might to pull Shiro up to no avail. The former Black Paladin eventually sunk underneath the surface and into a shadowy abyss.

Once he was gone the Black Lion above them suddenly came to life and roared at Lance a beam of light that transported him back to the cockpit where he met everyone else.

-

Once the story was over a silence fell over the room, as no one knew what to say. Eventually Pidge spoke up to say, “So he’s trapped, healing in this astral plane inside the Black Lion?”

“Yeah, that’s about it,” Lance mumbled.

“I’ve never heard such an experience happening to any of the previous Paladins,” Allura mentioned completely avoiding the other topic at hand “It’s so bizarre and surreal I don’t know where to start.”

“Such events never had occurred in the history of the creation of the lions, even when a Paladin was severely injured,” Coran putted in “Perhaps it happens to Paladins who are on deaths door.”

“But that means all we can do is wait for Shiro to be healed up by the Black Lion,” Hunk stated “And it’s already been a month.”

“I guess it’s for the best,” Lance said but then his eyes met Keith’s and before he could say another thing Keith stood up and quickly left the room as fast as possible “Hey wait a second Keith!”

Keith didn’t dare stop, he knew that they all could tell his lie, especially Lance. They’re going to hate him again, when things were working out so well that lie had to rear out the ugly truth. Keith didn’t stop walking away as Lance ran after him. But Lance was quick on his feet and he soon caught up with Keith spinning him around to face him.

“I said wait man,” but Keith continued to advert his eyes again, he couldn’t dare face him or any of them for that matter because he’s a liar “Keith.” Keith bit his lip to stop himself from talking; talking got him into this trouble in the first place. He could see behind Lance’s shoulder that the others were lingering behind “We need to talk.”

Keith continued to look anywhere but at Lance, he refused to.

He could hear Lance sigh and then say “You lied to me, to everyone didn’t you?” Keith didn’t respond, he tried to glare a hole into the ground instead “Why’d you do it? Shiro didn’t want me as the Black Paladin; he wanted you to be… I mean it makes sense that he’d want you. You were closer. But still… Why did you lie?” he continued to look away, not saying a thing. He wouldn’t know what to say anyways “Did you not want to be bothered by it or did you… I don’t know, want to see me fail at the job.”

“No!” Keith finally snapped back up at him, getting a glimpse of Lance’s blue eyes, but quickly looking away “That… I would never do that.”

“Then what is it?” Lance asked with a hurt frown plastered onto his face “What’s the truth Keith? If Shiro didn’t say any of that then he never thought of me that way, meaning it’s not true being a good aim and everything.”

Keith paused for a moment and answered, “I don’t know what Shiro thinks of you. He could think that, but I don’t know,” he shuffled his feet then said “Shiro never said any of that, that’s a lie, yeah.”

Lance stared at him for a moment but then had a downcast look to him “Is that so?”

“It wasn’t what he thought of you, but it’s what I thought… of… you…” Keith mumbled as a blush crept onto his cheeks.

Lance glanced up at him in surprise and confusion, and said “R-really?” 

“Yeah,” Keith muttered but then made it clear “That’s not a lie! I’m not lying about that, I swear, but I guess me swearing by something doesn’t mean anything anymore.”

“But why me?” Lance questioned, “Didn’t you want the position?”

“I never agreed with Shiro about being the pilot of the Black Paladin,” Keith said “And why would I want to, when none of you would want me to.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“It means that who would really follow me Lance?” Keith asked flustered “Who would listen to a hot headed idiot like me?”

“You’re not an idiot, hot headed for sure, but not an idiot,” Lance concurred.

“Yes I am,” Keith told him “When have I come up a good plan, when have I not done something reckless in battle, when have I not been able to control my temper Lance?”

“There’s plenty of times-“ Lance was about to add but Keith interrupted.

“No there’s not!” he shrieked “I’m an emotional basket case with too many screws loose, I can’t lead this team! Also I’m part Galra, who wants a leader as Galra when we’re fighting the Galra? Who wants someone who is part Galra to lead Voltron when Zarkon is full Galra and he has ruined everything? Who even wants me as a teammate?”

“I do!” Lance said as he placed both his hands on the side of Keith’s face again. They were warm by the touch and Keith felt electricity go down his spine “I don’t care if you’re part Galra Keith.” He looked straight into Keith’s eyes when he said this; his beautiful vibrant eyes were all Keith could focus on. But his feet were trying to pull him away, his body still wanted to run away and to never let any of them catch him. But as his feet tried to scoot away Lance stepped forward with him, not loosening his grip at all. Keith knew even if he ran away, Lance would chase after him. 

“No you don’t,” Keith’s voice was cracking again; he didn’t want to cry again.

“Yes I do,” Lance said again, “I don’t care what you are. In my eyes you’re Keith, a Paladin of Voltron, and you’re too good to me.” He dropped his hands down as they fell on Keith’s shoulders and said, “I can’t believe you wanted me to be leader cause you were scared.”

“I would if I wasn’t scared,” Keith said under his breath, but Lance heard.

Lance’s face softened again as he dropped his head on Keith’s shoulder and sighed saying “What are you Keith Kogane?”

“I’m-“ Keith thought about it for a moment and then answered “A Paladin of Voltron…”

Lance raised his head and smiled saying “Yeah, and you’re pretty amazing.”

Keith’s face turned into a tomato red at that and felt like he could melt like ice in the brink of summer. Keith then responded with his voice still laced in worry, “I’m sorry, for lying.”

“Hm,” Lance hummed “It wasn’t the worst lie I’ve ever heard so I forgive you.”

“Not the worst?” Keith wondered.

“Well it might not be from Shiro, but it was full of compliments,” Lance slyly smirked which made Keith flush again.

“Those- um-were-“ Keith stuttered.

“What~?” Lance chuckled as he swayed them back and forth with a pout on his lip “Those weren’t a lie too were they?”

Keith wondered how he’s going to survive this boy “No, they weren’t,” he swallowed hard.

“Well then I forgive you~” Lance laughed as he threw his arms over Keith in an over shoulder hug, as he swayed them around the hall.

Keith might melt in his grasp.


	4. An old home made up of memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith off handedly mentions someone who seems pretty cool. And the team gets to learn more about Keith's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This person I'm introducing is my own character and I created her to give the familia love Keith needs. I created her after reading about this head cannon, and took my own take on it.
> 
> https://allawander.tumblr.com/post/159488864368/what-if-the-reason-that-keith-is-so-small-by

Keith wasn’t too shabby as a Black Paladin. It was a rough start and a lot of his plans did fail causing frustration and anger throughout the team, and Lotor wasn’t fucking helpful either. It was an odd routine now between him and Lance. They kind of split leadership; Keith did take the position, but Lance was the one making most of the good calls. Keith would try to sneakily ask him if he wanted the position back at all, but he only shook his head and said, “You’re not that bad mullet, stop stressing over it. Besides being a Right Hand man has its perks.”

Which to Lance it seems to have its perks, he was just as serious as in his position from when he was Black Paladin, but now that he’s the right Hand man Keith has been listening and paying more attention to him than anyone else. Listening to his opinions and comments, and Lance could almost beam when he knew Keith would be turning to him for the final word. He almost felt kind of selfish hogging all of Keith’s attention, but once those violet eyes looked at him all that worry and doubt would be swept away.

There was chaos those first couple weeks, but they did pull through. In the mean time Keith was having his teamwork out in the training room against the sentries, but at the moment they were having a break.

“God Keith, you’re whipping us like horses,” Lance sighed as he sat himself down on the cool tile. But there wasn’t any malice in his words, more like amusement. He could tell that Keith was the ‘get it done now than hold off until later’ kind of leader. Which he found very amusing. 

“You’ll be fine, but make sure to have some water,” he gently tapped a water bottle on Lance’s cheek and gave off a pretty endearing smile. Lance felt like he was floating every time Keith smiled at him like that. They were certainly getting closer.

He then turned his attention to give Hunk a bottle as well, and then they sat down to cool off.

Pidge and Allura still had energy to fight off one more sentry, but the boys were taking a break. Hunk was laying in a position that probably wasn’t the best for his posture, but the big guy didn’t seem to mind. So as he was resting Lance turned to Keith and started up a conversation “I’ve been leveling up pretty fast huh?”

Keith smirked at him and answered “Yeah, but you haven’t beaten me much during sparing.”

“Hey, I’m working on my strengths and weaknesses,” Lance smirked back “Give me some credit.”

“When you finally beat me, I’ll give you all the credit you deserve~” Keith teased.

“Is that a challenge Kogane?” Lance cooed.

“Maybe,” Keith chuckled “Make sure to fix your range though, sharpshooter.”

Lance felt his insides flutter for a moment at him using that pet name. He liked hearing it from Keith, more than anyone else “Where do you even get your super skills samurai?”

“Well I guess I get that from my aunt,” Keith said off-handedly, it didn’t really sink in what he just said until Lance gasped.

“What? You have an aunt?” Lance said in surprise, rattled out of the mood, “I thought you were orphaned or some sad jazz like that.”

“Uh-yeah but-“ Keith stuttered.

“Oh Story Time!” Hunk proclaimed excitingly, he plopped down cutely and crossed his legs with a huge grin on his dopey face. Lance then joined him both staring up expectantly at Keith. 

“Um…” Keith muttered unsure, but then Allura and Pidge followed over.

“What are you guys doing?” Pidge asked.

“Keith’s going to tell us about his dramatic past,” Lance explained.

“It’s not dramatic,” Keith huffed, crossing his arms.

“It sure is,” Hunk smiled jokingly “You’re like a tragic anime protagonist.”

“But what I want to know is about this aunt!” Lance said.

“Ooh an aunt,” Allura cooed as she sat next to Lance with Pidge following.

“Wait are we seriously doing this?” Keith whined.

“You bet you’re alien butt we are,” Pidge cackled then tipped up her glasses “How do you even get an aunt? Is she Galra too?”

“No, no, no, she was one hundred percent human,” Keith sighed as he sat down in front of them, resigning himself to spill the beans “And she wasn’t my real aunt, she was actually my foster mom.”

“Oh no…” Hunk mumbled into Lance’s ear “This story’s going to have water works isn’t it.”

“Probably is buddy,” Lance smiled.

“I’m getting tissues then,” Hunk said “Everything about Keith makes me cry.”

Once Hunk got back Keith started “Okay so she was my foster mom and everything. I uh… started in foster care at around five years old, and she was like my eleventh foster mom. But she was so much more different than the others. The others I’d stay with for a couple months maybe, her… I stayed with Aunt Christy for three whole years. She was amazing.”

“Yep, already crying,” Hunk said as he pushed some tissues on Lance.

“So how did you meet her?” Pidge asked.

-

“Now Keith,” his foster agent would say “It’s getting really hard finding a proper family for you, I know, the reputation you’re getting isn’t the best but we’ll work with it. But I need you to try harder for me, you didn’t even last a whole month with the last couple, so can you please try harder with the next one?”

Keith always adverted his eyes from the agents; he never liked them. They always treated him like he was a hassle, putting him in one home than another. This would be no different; with fake smiles and fake reassurance this agent surely just wanted Keith out of his hands as soon as possible. Which wasn’t good for him either because then he’d be pushed onto another foster family that won’t want him. 

Another foster family with foster parents who pretend like they care at first but snap if you break one of their silly rules, or just ignore you completely. Other foster kids who are in the same boat but treat him differently because his behavioral problems. They’ll pick on him at school again, and he’ll get in more fights, and then his foster parents will find him to be too much of a burden and push him to the side again.

So he doesn’t respond, he makes sure to close himself off from all this pain and hurt. Let it not affect him; let it barely scratch his heart. 

“Now the next family isn’t a couple, it’s a single woman and she’s already has a few other kids under her care,” the agent kept rambling “She’s apparently really good and is sweet with kids. Many of the kids under her wing have been adopted, found families of their own.”

Keith zoned out, he looked to the neighborhood they were in to see it as a pretty decent suburban neighborhood. But the nicer the neighborhood was the more the nice neighbors would judge such an angry kid like him. He didn’t think he’d last even two months in a place like this.

The agent then walked Keith to the door and knocked, to hear a woman voice call “It’s open, just come in!” The door slid open slowly to show a dark haired woman piggy backing two kids with one on her leg and the other zooming around with an airplane. She lifted up her sweaty head to see the two at the door who were uncomfortably surprised to see just a spectacle, but then she smiled and said, “Hello there, you must be Keith!” 

Keith was a little taken aback by that. Usually the adults talk to each other first before he’s ever introduced.

“Okay, we’re done, off, off, off!” the woman said as the kids latched on to her ran off to the kitchen and to the back of the house “Hey! Don’t push each other!” then she turned to him with a smile that brightened her face and she stood tall as she walked to him “Sorry, kids am I right?” she had a great big laugh, one Keith’s never seen before. She then bent down to him and lifted a hand out “I’m Christy. You can call me Aunt Christy if you want though.” 

Keith didn’t know what to do and instinctual skirted behind the foster agent. She was so forward and happy, it was weird. But Keith had to remind himself, that that face would die away and show something crueler.

“Oh sorry, he can be a bit shy,” the agent chuckled nervously.

“Oh, too bad,” Aunt Christy said, she looked kind of hurt by that, but then she recovered quickly “That’s okay, but hey! Since those little cretins have freed me let’s go check out your room~ Do you have your things Keith?” Keith blinked at her then pointed to his backpack he was wearing and she looked kind of shocked seeing that “That’s it?”

“Keith’s misplaced lots of things over the years,” his agent said who tone sounded a bit worried “But don’t worry, we’ve made sure he’s had the necessities.”

“Ah, I see,” Christy nodded; she seemed to look a little frustrated. But Keith wasn’t going to up and explained how most of his belongings were stolen by other kids or confiscated by other foster parents and never given back. No, he she doesn’t need to know anything “Well, the room.” Christy said again as she gestured to the back of the house. Her giddy attitude seemed to be replaced with a somewhat solemn smile, Keith didn’t care; he didn’t need pity.

They walked down a hall to a room at the end with a room with two beds, Keith’s throat felt dry: he wasn’t too happy at the thought of having another strange roommate.

“You’re a lucky one,” Christy chuckled “One of my kids was adopted last week and so he isn’t staying here anymore. You get a room to yourself kiddo.”

Keith blinked with surprise at the news because he never expected to have a room to himself ever again until he was an adult maybe. He looked at its neatness and almost gawked at the thought of his own privacy. 

“You even get a window to the backyard, cool right?” Aunt Christy smiled “A room all to yourself?”

“Really?” Keith said, but then gasped as he reminded himself that he wasn’t going to talk to her. But he let his voice slip out.

“Oh amazing~!” Aunt Christy awed “He talks.” She went to go ruffle his mop of hair but he quickly backed away.

She pulled back but still managed to smile “Hm.”

“Well I think it’s great!” the agent said enthusiastically “Isn’t this great Keith?”

Keith darted away from the response and instead turned away from both of them, making his way into the room. As he set his backpack down he could feel the relief of them tearing their stares from him to talk to one and another instead. About the final paper work and last minuet signing, but Keith droned them out. Instead he focused on the putting his few clothes and valuables away. Afterwards he sat on his new bed and watched as the two left his line of sight before he rested his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is going to be another chapter after that, and then i'll try to do some more during Thanksgiving break.


	5. The change stolen from purses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith continues to talk about some stuff on his foster mom and about how he was different from other kids

“Aunt Christy huh?” Lance hummed “So what made her cool?”

“Well um… there were a lot of things…” Keith started fidgeting with his hands; he glanced to the side and said “She was pretty perceptive… so she could always tell if something was wrong. She was really good with kids I suppose.”

“Agh, Come one Keith, details!” Pidge whined, “Did she ride a motorcycle? Did she kick ass, tell us man!”

Keith kind of looked at her a bit dumbfounded and surprisingly said, “Whoa, are you psychic Pidge?”

“What? Are you serious?” Pidge scoffed with a laugh “Maybe I got magical powers too.” She nudged Allura very playful, which made Allura laugh.

“So she owned a bike huh?” Lance wondered.

“Yeah, but it was before I came into her care,” Keith answered “I saw she had pictures around her house of her and her bike in front of all kinds of places. The ocean, the grand canyon, Hollywood sign.”

“That sounds sick,” Hunk cooed “What a fiery lady.”

“I know right,” Lance laughs, “She sounds made up dude.”

“Well she’s not,” Keith smirked confidently “She had to sell her bike though so she could get a mini-van, you know, to take care of the kids.”

“Aw,” Hunk smiled “Best foster mom ever~!”

“Hmph,” Keith nodded as he smiled fondly at the thought of her “I’d say so. She was wicked kickass.”

“Bet she was just like you but as an older woman.”

“No!” Keith said defensively, but then drew back saying, “I never learned how to cook.”

“And she cooks!” Hunk exclaimed loudly “Where in the universe is this woman?! Tell me her recipes!”

“Hunk I’m not going to remember any of her recipes from seven years ago,” Keith chuckled “And it wasn’t anything elaborate like you make buddy, she was just really good at barbecuing.”

“Barbecuing!” the trio gasped loudly as Allura looked a bit bewildered.

“Of sorry Allura,” Lance chuckled at her confused face “Barbecuing is when us Earthlings cook meat outside at party events and stuff.”

“I see, sounds delicious,” Allura smiled.

“Mhm, sure was,” Keith smile was beginning to grow more at the memories flowing into his mind “She’d do it all the time though, and she was an expert at cooking meat. It was like one of her special talents.”

“Cool,” Lance giggled.

“Yeah, it helped out a lot too,” Keith explained, “When I was a kid I always had a tooth for meat, and well…” As he was about to continue his story he ducked his head hesitant as he abruptly stopped. Lance noticed that he kind of looked a little guilty as a pout grew on his lip.

“What?” Pidge asked confused.

“Well…” Keith pulled his arms in and said, “I wasn’t the best kid. And my bad behaviors usually got the best of me.”

“Oooh! Naughty kid Keith!” Hunk joked.

“What sort of antics did you get yourself into this time?” Pidge asked as she tilted her glasses with a bemused smile on her face.

“I- well…” Keith looked more embarrassed about it then anything “I’d gotten kicked out of some foster homes sometimes because they found out I would steal money from their purses to buy food…” He looked away rather ashamed and Lance wasn’t quiet sure if he liked that face on him so he nudged him.

“Did they starve you or something?” Lance asked with a bit of concern.

“No-well… all the other kids would be full after every meal, but I wouldn’t,” Keith said, “My stomach would still be growling especially if the meal had such little meat. People chalked it up that I was a growing boy and they ignored it.”

“Ignored it?!” Lance repeated, “That doesn’t sound very responsible.”

“Well it didn’t help me,” Keith sighed. He eventually came to sit down with the rest of them as he talked “So I soon started getting desperate, and started taking whatever change I could get from my foster moms purses to buy at least a hot dog or something down at a vendor a few streets away.”

As Keith talked Lance felt something ache in his chest, the thought of a scrawny little kid Keith going down the street alone, late at night after dinner. Imagining guiltily stealing some cash just to grab a little more food. He’d hate to think of it being a cold night, or some time during the winter and Keith would be covered in an old and worn winter jacket with boots falling apart out into the cold to grab some chicken nuggets.

“The worst was when I had a pair of vegan parents who believed all meats and dairies were evil,” Keith breathed through his nose and continued “Week three the mom finds me riffling through her purse and well…” He trailed off again.

“And what?” Pidge asked on the edge of her seat.

Keith held it in for a while, holding his lips tight and glancing everywhere except where the other paladins were. Eventually their stared broke him under pressure and he finally blurted out “She hit me okay! And then I bit her and there was a huge fight, the husband broke us up. She told him what happened and they sent me back to the agency, there!”

There was a silence for a moment until Lance broke it “Keith…”

But Keith sharply said, “I don’t need your guys pity or anything so don’t-“

“Keith,” it was Allura this time who had a calm and resilient smile “Thank you for telling us about this, I’m glad you are comfortable enough to share this with us. Even if it is sad, what you are telling us is helping us grow closer as a team. Thank you for opening up.”

Lance couldn’t have said it any better and he’s glad Allura is so good with words, like damn girl! Keith seemed to shift a little, until Hunk spoke up “Geeze buddy, do you want a hug man?”

He seemed to be startled by the request, but then mumbled, “A hug wouldn’t be too bad.”

“Then come here buddy, come on,” Keith kept looking away but nudged himself to Hunk where Hunk grabbed him and pulled him into a big hug “That’s right one of Hunk’s world best hugs. Dude, thanks for telling us man.”

“It’s nothing…” Keith said awkwardly in Hunks hug, but eventually fell into it.

“Aw Keith,” Pidge skirted to the side and then hugged him too “We love you man. If I ever meet that foster mom, I’ll give her a good sock in the mouth for you.”

“I highly doubt that you’ll ever meet her,” Keith chuckled.

Quickly after Lance and Allura came in for a hug and they smiled and laughed, and Lance was glad seeing Keith smile again. It was a sweet, warm, tender moment.

“I hope your aunt turned out far better than those wretched people,” Allura stated.

“Yeah…” Keith smiled “She actually found out pretty quickly that I was taking cash from her purse.”

“You rebel without a cause,” Lance laughed as he ruffled Keith’s hair. They were all in a tight circle with Lance and Hunk on both sides of Keith as he told them stories about the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I'm going to write anymore during break, I kind of want to, you know, take a break. This chapter was kind of short huh?


	6. The gifts of home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith begins his first days around Aunt Christy and finds her rather understanding.

Keith had been avoiding Aunt Christy’s friendly approaches as best as possible. He kept the distance as much as possible, keeping quiet as often as possible, but the thing was that she was relentlessly social. She’d wake him up in the morning by knocking on his door saying the food was ready and after he’d reluctantly get out from bed he’d meet her outside his door and she’s smile asking “How’d you sleep.”

Keith looked at her like she had a tree growing out of her head and just muttered “Good.”

“Awesome, “ she said as she followed him to the kitchen where he’d sit down with the rest of the kids and she’d start serving, eggs bacon, and melon. It smelled good, and Keith was hungry so he began eating and as he did Aunt Christy started listing all the other kids names, introducing them. But Keith didn’t look up as these kids talked to him, and he soon forgot their names. What would it matter anyways? If she was so ‘good’ at getting these kids adopted then they’re going to disappear pretty fast from his life.

Once he finished he mumbled a quick thanks and the other kids ran in different directions as he skirted back to his room. A couple boys tried to get him to climb trees and stuff, but he wasn’t interested, trying to get back to his room. But Aunt Christy had a different idea for this lovely Sunday. As soon as Keith brushed his teeth and got washed, he was about to officially retreat to his room when she called him. He decided to ignore her in fear that he was already in trouble, but she barged into his room with a plastic apron and gloves on. They kind of looked weird on her.

“Keith, did you brush your teeth?” Aunt Christy asked. When he nodded unsurely she laughed and said, “Already more well behaved than all these other boogers.” He was kind of surprised by that. No one ever called him well behaved before “It’s going to take me until noon to get these kids to brush their teeth, well so goes a Sunday. Hey!” He jumped at her sudden change of pace “Can you help me out with the dishes if you aren’t doing anything? You’ll just be drying them.”

Keith still didn’t answer, still weirded out by these pushy interactions. He hadn’t ever met a foster mom so forward.

“If you help me out I’ll get you a treat at the grocery store~” she chuckled.

He almost perked up to that but then questioned “A treat?”

“Yeah anything you want,” she nodded in agreement “As long as it’s reasonable.”

Keith hesitated but then told himself, he’ll get something free out of this, so why not? He nodded and she beamed and they walked into the kitchen where she pulled a stool to him and wrapped a small plastic apron around him. He sat down and she started handing dishes to him that he began drying with a towel. They were at it for a few minutes when Keith asked, “Why don’t you use a dish washer?”

“Don’t have one in this house weird enough,” Christy answered sure enough “Besides, isn’t this more economical?”

Keith didn’t know what that word meant but he just nodded like he understood. As he did a plate slipped from his hand and smashed to the floor. He froze as they were both startled by the sound, and he swore he was going to get yelled at immediately, but instead Aunt Christy bent down and started picking up the pieces with her hand, while opening the trash to throw the pieces away.

“Don’t get off the stool,” she told him “There are shards everywhere and you’re bare footed, so just sit tight.”

“Sorry,” he timidly apologized.

“Eh, don’t worry about,” she chuckled as she reached under the cabinets to grab a few pieces “The kids out there break stuff all the time. Kids break stuff. In fact when I was little I broke stuff on purpose more than once a weak in tantrums.”

“Why?”

“I was an angry kid,” Aunt Christy stated then looked up at him and said “Thinking back though, in the place I was I think it was pretty justifiable.” 

Keith looked at her with wide eyes, never had he heard of that. Not from any adult.

She pulled herself back up and threw the shards in the trash saying “One plate down, twenty-nine to go,” she winked which almost made Keith’s mouth quirk upwards, but he held it back.

They continued the dishes and eventually finished and then Keith started following her to do the laundry. Then they were both looking at the refrigerator to see what they needed. Keith had a notepad as Aunt Christy started listing things one by one.

“Hmm, we’re almost out of eggs, and jelly,” she started pushing things aside in the fridge to look around “I think we’re out of cheese too, and… applesauce.”

Keith was writing everything down, but crossed his fingers he wasn’t spelling anything wrong. It was strange he kind of liked her putting him to work; he liked being busy, instead of doing nothing in his room. He never really got a chance to hide back into his room before the groceries, but that didn’t seem to bother him. 

“Okay, I think that’s everything,” she mumbled to herself and when Keith handed her the list she looked at it and chuckled “You misspelled applesauce Keith. It’s s-a-u-c-e, not s-o-s-e, but that’s okay.”

“Sorry,” Keith said again.

“It’s okay Keith,” she smiled down at him, she had some really white teeth Keith noted to himself. She had a sweet smile to her like she was looking at an old family photo instead of a grocery list. It was weird.

“When…?” he was about to say but trailed off.

He thought he was quiet enough but apparently she heard him “When what?”

He wringed his hands behind his back as he asked quietly “When do we go to the… store?”

She blinked at him then answered “A couple hours, I’ll make lunch now, hopefully I was able to get those kids to brush their teeth, but leaving them to their own devices. Ha, who knows,” she began walking to the bathroom where she heard some voices giggling, but then turned to Keith “I’ll be making sandwiches for lunch, you can head back to your room if you want Keith.”

He was a little surprised by that, he thought he’d help her with lunch too, but if she didn’t need him anymore… Keith nodded curtly and skirted to his room slowly as Aunt Christy started scolding some of the kids on brushing their teeth properly.

He closed his door and sat on his bed, looking around his room seeing that some of the shelves had rows of books on them. So he began exploring it some more then he did yesterday and browsed the books to see that they were at least a few grades higher reading level than he was now. He wasn’t sure he could read them.

He didn’t have any books with him in his backpack: just the necessities. There was a toothbrush, a hairbrush, a couple pairs of socks and shirts, a few pairs of underwear, and about three pairs of pants, and one pair of shorts. He wished he had more shorts since it was summer, but it’s not like a nine year old has that kind of money. 

But he did have one thing that was his, that he never let any of the other kids find. It was the only thing that was really his, from his dad. He glanced at the door hearing the noise was a distance away and zipped open a small compartment in his backpack to find Hippo. Hippo was a hippopotamus stuffed animal his dad got him at a town fair when he was really young, when his dad was still around. He remembered his dad winning a booth game and he gave Keith the prize. That prize was Hippo, who was faded but still purple. His perfect purple hippopotamus. He would never let anyone know he had her, and he was going to keep it that way forever. 

He tucked her back in his backpack, as he started to search the room again. The closet was basically empty except for a few stray hangers, and soon he started to try and open the dresser drawers. They didn’t open as smoothly, and he had to wiggle them some, but eventually they slid open. Inside was quite the surprised; there were presents in them. They were wrapped in all sorts of color, but with bows and ribbon. He was quite taken aback by the contents in side the drawers and then saw a tiny dangling note hanging off of one of the bows. He pulled it close to his face so he could read it and it read “To Keith.”

His mouth hung open and before he knew it he started ripping one of them open, and what he found in them he couldn’t believe. There shirts and socks in the box, and when he opened another one there were shorts of all sorts of colors and a pair of sandals. He opened two more to find other clothes, and as he tore them open he kept finding the little notes addressed to him. 

He began sniffling and then rubbed his eyes. He would not cry, not on the first day. But he suddenly started to have a warm feeling grow in his chest. He didn’t know what to do, so he held the new clothes close to him as he sat in front of the dresser. 

He heard a call to him and footsteps approach his door. There was a knock and then a “Keith I’m coming in,” Aunt Christy called; she slowly opened the door as she peeked in the room looking for him. She had a spatula in her hand. Her eyes followed to find him on the floor surrounded by new clothes and torn up wrapping paper. She then opened the door all the way and said, “You found them. You didn’t find them yesterday so I thought maybe I’d have to show you knew when I had time. Do you like them? Are they okay? Will they fit?”

He stared at her, and he knew his eyes were getting misty “Why-why did you do this?”

She stared at him for a moment with a part in her mouth, but then her lips spread into a smile as she told him from the door “Because I thought you deserved them.” Keith felt a sudden wave of warmth pass over him like a tidal wave. He didn’t know what to say, he was too scared to, because if he said something wrong maybe it would shatter this impossibly happy dream that he’s having. So he said nothing and looked at the clothes, trying to hold back the tears. He tried to stop the trembling in his lips, but their actions where betraying him. He felt so… so…

“I’ll bring you lunch okay bud,” Aunt Christy said as she pulled out of the door way and he watched her go as he couldn’t even find the strength to stand up.

He sat there for a while; just slowly going through the boxes one by one, just to check if the clothes were still there and this wasn’t some crazy hallucination he was suddenly having. He wanted to lie on the ground, curled up around these clothes, but he didn’t know if that was the right thing to do either.

She eventually came back with his lunch on a small tray, and she sat in front of him, placing the meal in between them. He looked at her and she smiled saying “Take a break Keith, we can go shopping tomorrow.” Then she got up and left his room, giving a little wave as she left. 

-

Keith would lay in bed that night holding a new red shirt, and contemplate if he should wear it the next day or not.


	7. A walk in the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Aunt Christy have a very important talk

It was the very next day that Keith and the children would follow Aunt Christy to the farmers market. And as he lingered in the back he became surprised how easily she corralled all of them in a small circle. They took one of those car carts where two of the kids would be sitting inside while the others would be circling around her trying to find stuff on her list while trying to sneak their own things in the cart. Keith watched from behind as she seemed to be very calm at keeping track of the crazed children, and he made sure to keep his distance from her, but not far enough where she’d call back to him. 

They were able to get everything on the list and Keith saw how she made copies for the other kids to search for food and check off. He also had a list as well but he rather tucked it in his back pocket as he wandered around. He never really remembered any foster parents taking him to the supermarket and was kind of overwhelmed by the height of the rows of food.

His eyes wandered up high and down below to see several things he wanted to ask her for, but decided against it in fear of her saying no. He knew she’d just look down on him with a glare and say he’s wasting time or needs to catch up. He didn’t want this illusion of her maybe being nice to break just yet. 

Keith heard some children yell behind him making him turn around to see what it was; he pinpointed it to a pair of children with their parents. They seemed happy as they laughed and trying to place several things in the cart. He felt a hint of jealously swell up inside him, he then turned away to see that Aunt Christy and the other kids were gone.

He panicked and started to rush through the aisles to find them and was beginning to feel the nervousness bite at him when thankfully he managed to see her bright red coat in the middle of the meat section. He breathed in and sighed and as he did she turned around to see him catch up to her. Oh no, here comes the scolding. 

“Did you get lost little man?” she asked in a chuckle.

He stared at her for a moment and could only think of nodding as she laughed.

“Well stay close okay,” she said, “The supermarket is a maze, come on.” That’s it? No scolding, she didn’t even seem annoyed. Keith felt his hand tremble a little bit as he walked closer. As he did he saw her looking at two packages of chicken, eventually just throwing both of them in the cart. After that she zoomed past the meat section with Keith drooling at the rows of pork and beef. But he didn’t say anything; he wasn’t going to remind her about why he was kicked out of his foster home last time. 

He tagged alongside her heel as they reached the checkout, and he watched as the other children shouted and laughed loudly, tossing food on the conveyer belt. He wondered why other kids his age were so wild and he was more reserved. She was rung out and as she did she smiled towards him saying, “How was it?”

He looked to her and blinked, turning his head away mumbling “It was fine.”

“Yeah I know,” she giggled, “The Supermarket isn’t the most exciting place. I’m surprised though that you didn’t grab anything.”

Keith bit his lip to shut out his response, and made sure to continue to advert his eyes away from her. She just sighed and handed him a couple bags of groceries instead.

“Think you can carry those strong man?” she asked as he looked at her, but nodded encouragingly.

They walked out of the supermarket and weren’t suppose to go back again until next week. Suppose to.

-

A couple days later Keith felt the sudden pains of those annoying hunger cramps that he gets sometimes. They were steadily growing more and more but Aunt Christy didn’t serve enough at dinner to fill him up. And if he didn’t eat, another little girl next to him would poke him with a fork, saying he had to eat his vegetables. Vegetables never filled him up, milk made him sick, and bread hardly did the job. Keith wanted meat, but even then meat wouldn’t be enough.

He did recall seeing a vendor a few streets away selling hotdogs. He could probably go there and fill up a little bit. So late at night he left his room and quietly crept through the halls. Keith saw her purse thrown on the kitchen counter and quickly searched through it finding about twenty dollars. Taking that he managed to make it to the door after stealing the door keys from the hook. 

Keith stole away in the dead of night as he ran on the sidewalk to where he remembered the vendor one who as he approached seemed to be closing for the night. But before he could Keith came to him, stopping his nightly routine, slapping the money on his table. The vendor looked at him strangely and glanced around for his parents but Keith stayed firm demanding what he wanted.

He left with four hotdogs, sitting with them on a bench, devouring them one by one. He remembered that night as it being cold, wishing he brought a jacket, but the moon was large and beautiful. He sat there at the bench looking at the stars, getting mustard and ketchup on his face. It was quiet with the chilly night air brushing on him again and again. Keith looked to the area he was in seeing a town square, a mall’s parking lot, and a coffee shop at the furthest end in the road. There were a lot of late night shoppers; he saw a little girl with her mother leaving a clothing store, she was yawning and the mother was calmly smiling. He tightened his fist at the sight of them and then looked down at the last half of his hot dog, feeling a bit emptier than he did before. 

The boy walked slowly back to Aunt Christy’s place, but even though he knew where he was going he felt lost going there. The streets were dark with only a few lamplights illuminating the asphalt. Many of the homes were motionless and all their lights were turned off. It was just him in the cold quiet night. Once he made it back to Aunt Christy’s house he made sure to place the key back on the hook and was walking through the kitchen to his room when a light flashed on.

It blinded him for a moment as he stumble back and when they quickly adjusted he realized who turned them on. Wearing a sleeveless shirt, shorts, and slippers, Aunt Christy stood before him, towering the small boy. He looked to her and felt the nervousness creep up his spine as dread filled his stomach. He suddenly felt colder in the house than outside.

She didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared at him, still like a statue. Keith shifted in his stance underneath her dark glare and then she spoke “Sit down Keith,” she sat down before him, waiting patiently, a frown still placed on her lips. He hesitated for a moment, thinking it’d be best to run out the door, but looking into those merciless eyes he decided she’d catch him anyways and beat him endlessly. 

So he ended up listening to her demands and sat down. He felt a cold sweat crawl down his neck, he was either going get an earful, be hit, or sent back to foster care this very night. He had never been caught in something so fast before, and he realized this would be the fastest he’d be sent back to foster care.

They sat in silence for what felt like forever, and Keith began to feel more anxious, his nerves becoming more turbulent. He stared at his knees, wondering when she was going to break this silence, when he suddenly heard her voice split through the kitchen light.

“Keith,” his name sounded heavy, and he could feel weights sink onto his shoulder. She hadn’t said it yelling or angrily, she appeared calmer than anything. And that’s what scared him the most, putting up a calm front just meant she was holding a lot of stuff back and if that stuff broke loose, it’ll be hell to pay.

Aunt Christy then called to him again with a cold stern voice “Look up at me Keith.”

He didn’t want to, but he didn’t know how she’d react if he didn’t so he rose his eyes to face her, still having his face tilted downwards. Her arms were crossed, as were her legs, she sat laid back, cool and collected; there wasn’t a trace of stress on her face. 

“Keith,” she said, “Where have you been?”

Keith bit his lip guilty, but after a dozen seconds past by he finally answered, “No where.”

“Answer honestly Keith,” her eyes pierced through his, her words seemed like they were filled with authoritative intimidation.

“I went to the vendor… in the mall… parking lot…”

“What vendor?”

“The one that sold hotdogs.”

“And why?”

“I was hungry.”

“You had a hearty dinner like the rest of the kids,” at that Keith didn’t answer, she wouldn’t understand these hunger cramps he got. She sighed then pulled herself uncrossing her arms “Keith,” he adverted his eyes away again when she said “Did you steal money?”

It was over; he was going back to foster care once this conversation was over. What could he have done? Should he have been quieter? Should he have pretended to like it here more so she would suspect anything? He was at a lose.

“Did you steal money Keith?”

Keith squinted his eyes in pain, but then opened them to answer; he was terrible at lying anyways “Yes.”

He tried the same stare that she did, tried filling it with intimidation like she could, but he could tell how she looked at him that it wasn’t working, and he shrunk back into a more frightened stare.

“Keith, do you know what you have done?” Keith blinked in confusion, what he’d done; he thought he already told her what he had done “You left the door unlocked, leaving the house and everyone inside vulnerable to intruders. Someone could have gotten in easily and well they may have tried to hurt us.” Keith blinked again, surprised about what she was saying, he didn’t expect her to talk about this. Nor did he think about leaving the door unlocked.

“You know what else you did Keith?” he shook his head, curious on what she was about to say.

“You went out in the dark alone, where it’s cold, dark, and dangerous,” she got up from her chair, walking to him, bending down to grasp his hands. Hers were warm.

“Look,” she stated, “You’re freezing, you didn’t even think about bringing a sweater or coat, you could get sick. Also!” he jumped at her loud words “What if you got lost trying to find your way back home, or someone attacked you? It’s dangerous outside alone for a little kid like yourself. Did you think about that Keith?” He stared at her, for some reason he could feel this warmth creep up on his eyes. Aunt Christy let go off his hands for a moment going to the couch to pull off a spare blanket, wrapping it around him, rubbing his arms and legs it get warm.

Keith stared at her as she tried to cover him up and then said, “You’re not mad…?”

“Of course I’m mad that you stole Keith,” she answered “But I’m more mad that you put yourself in danger instead. I wouldn’t have known where you were, and what if I had to call the police to go find you?” the color from Keith’s face drained for a moment as Aunt Christy said “Keith… I know about your hunger pains.”

Keith tucked his face away from her as he shook his head.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Aunt Christy whined “It said in your documents about what caused you to leave your last foster home. The agent called you a no good thief, but you were buying food weren’t you?”

Keith continued to duck his head under the blankets but managed to mumble “Chicken nuggets.”

She sighed then continued “Listen Keith I get it,” he peaked underneath the blankets to her “I used to get hunger pains all the time as a kid too. I wanted to eat everything in sight, but where I lived we couldn’t get much food at all. Being a growing girl and all that was hard. I was so hungry.” She stilled her hands as she looked to him and said “Look I got a big appetite too, it may not look it but even now I still eat a lot. It’s okay Keith, I understand.”

He stared at her then he felt something warm leave his eye as it dripped down his cheek to his mouth. Another one fell down, and then another, and sooner than later Keith could hear him letting out a whimpering voice. He cried and cried as he tried to snuff the noises in the blanket, but it was to no avail. He couldn’t keep up with the tears. 

He then felt two arms wrap around him as they pulled him closer. He felt warm and safe in her arms, he never felt this way before, at least not that he could remember. Maybe once a long time ago his own mother held him like this, close with love. 

She rubbed away his tears as she shushed him softly, in a soft voice she said “Keith I can buy anything you want to eat, we can make all sorts of yummy things, just don’t steal anymore.”

He sank his face in her chest bawling as nodded aggressively, muttering that he’d never steal again.

-

“After that we’d go to the grocery store to buy all sorts of things,” Keith smiled at the thought “We’d come home sometimes with two shopping carts full of just meat, it was crazy. The other kids looked at us like we were insane, but she’d barbecue and I’d help her out, sometimes we’d have the whole neighborhood come in for the barbecues. They’d bring their own stuff of course, but it was a lot of fun.”

He looked to the others to see Hunk blubbering and Pidge and Allura fanning their tears away. He even saw that Coran somehow came in partway through the story and was also tearing up himself. He then took to Lance who was smiling warmly at him which made him blush a little. Maybe he’d tell more stories of Aunt Christy like this.


End file.
